break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
