i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
