2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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