ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
