Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize