can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
