we have officially lost it.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
