I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
