He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
