I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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