he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
