Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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