I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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