So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
