just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
