it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
