"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
