She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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