As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
