I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
