just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
