my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
