the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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