I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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