You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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