If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
