Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
