I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
