hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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