apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
