no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
