yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
