I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
