sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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