I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
