I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Randomize
