I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize