Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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