I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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