to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
