Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
