Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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