im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
