That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
