I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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