My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
