I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
handjob tips. give me some.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
