She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
