Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
