There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
as a side note pls kill me
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